After being featured on The Howard Stern Show, E!, CNN, TMZ and hundreds of radio shows and newspapers around the world, I'd just like to say thanks for the fun! What started as a fun joke on my radio show, turned into a monster! Now that Sanjaya's gotten the boot, I think it's time to fade out... back into obscurity. And Sanjaya, if you're reading... might I suggest you do the same! - Geno Knight KHOP @ 95-1 Radio

We received thousands of reader submissions, but here were my favorite "If Sanjaya Wins" responses...

Former Idol Host BRIAN DUNKLEMAN on The Dave Holmes Show:
If Sanjaya wins, I'll probably react the same way as if he didn't... WHO CARES!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A+
Our last submission and our favorite!
It's just a TV show people... and a bad one at that!

Doreen from New Milford, Connecticut:
If Sanjaya wins, I agree with Geico! Even a caveman can do it!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-

LaChandra from New Carrollton, Maryland:
If Sanjaya wins, I'll no longer feel too fat to wear a bikini;
I'll just draw the eyes up from the belly rolls to my fauxhawk.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Lumidee with Geno on KHOP:
If Sanjaya wins, I will do a song with him...
if he'll have me cuz ya know, he might be a real big star!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C for Celebrity!
Our first celebrity response... well besides "Paris" and "Kevin"! ;-)
Lumidee Interview MP3 (834k)

Michelle from Wisconsin:
If Sanjaya wins, I will encourage my cute, but extremely untalented son to drop out of school and try out for American Idol next season so that he can make millions and support me and the rest of our family!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-

Eugene:
If Sanjaya wins, he'll get a record deal. For just 99 cents, he'll get ten CD's.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A-
For those in your 30's like me, substitute 99 cents with "a penny taped to a postcard." :-)

Ryan in Evansville, IN:
If Sanjaya wins, I will finally understand why Chris Daughtry didn't.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-

Alex from North Las Vegas, Nevada:
If Sanjaya wins, I will track down Ashley Ferl "The crying girl" and give her something to really cry about: the fact that she's not getting with Sanjaya, ever!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Molly from Brazil:
If Sanjaya wins, glass companies all over the world will profit.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Sara from Manhattan, New York:
If Sanjaya wins, I'm gonna set myself on FIYAH.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+



Lydia from New York , NY:
If Sanjaya wins, he will appear on the front page of Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Patrick from Portland, Oregon:
If Sanjaya wins, I will slip his stylist $10K to
locate and clandestinely photograph the three sixes on his scalp.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Corinne from Pennsylvania:
If Sanjaya wins, I will laugh and cry. Cry knowing that i can never watch the show again and then cry from laughing so freaking hard.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-

Shawn from Atlanta, Georgia:
If Sanjaya wins, I will accompany Don Imus to a Rutgers Women's Basketball game.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A-

John from East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania:
If Sanjaya wins, I'll know that my plan for world domination is on track.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Spoon from Jacksonville, Florida:
If Sanjaya wins, I will date Clay Aiken.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C

Neena from New Jersey:
If Sanjaya wins, I'll drive my malaKAR off a cliff.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C-
Cheesy, but I chuckled.

Joey from Modesto, California:
If Sanjaya wins, I will shave my whole body, head to toe, and go to the San Francisco Pride Pride Parade wearing nothing but my flip-flops and a tank-top that says "Boy Toy".
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-
SanjayaWon.com is going to crash YouTube the day after the finale!

Audrey from Grand Rapids, Michigan:
If Sanjaya wins, I will never complain about the electoral college again.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Sarah from Pennsylvania:
If Sanjaya wins, I will go undercover to figure out if he's having an affair with Paula Abdul.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B
I have a hunch Paula's innocent this time.

Ralph from Brooklyn, New York:
If Sanjaya wins, it will be the highest-rated season finale of a comedy show since Friends went off the air.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Whittney from Mt.Sterling, Illinois
If Sanjaya wins, I will actually have a life on Tuesday's and Wednesday's.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+
Finally! A more creative way of saying "I'll never watch again!"
(Pretty much every other entry we get.)

Tina, Alisha, and Jake from Oregon:
If Sanjaya wins, we'll tattoo his name on our asses so we can fart on it every time we sit down.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Jay from California:
If Sanjaya wins, I will wrestle with Azamat.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Wendy from Austin, Texas:
If Sanjaya wins, Bill W will fall off the wagon.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A-

Jeanette from Texas:
If Sanjaya wins, I will begin watching the shopping channel instead of Idol, at least they take the bad products off of the show.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

DJ Jayito from Jersey City, NJ:
If Sanjaya wins, I will shave off all my hair and regret ever rocking the ponyhawk hair style.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B
It will take THAT long to regret it?



Verrlet:
If Sanjaya wins, I will do my weekly story time for one and two years olds at the library dressed in a werewolf costume.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Heather:
If Sanjaya wins, I will tattoo his name on my Kitty.. and im not talking about my four legged one.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-
Good news. We have just bought SanjayaWon.com...
so now we can have pictures of all of these "If Sanjaya Wins..." pledges!

Lauren from Georgia:
If Sanjaya wins, I will go into the mens restroom and stick my head in a stall that someone is in to ask for the time!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A-
Another one we are grading high because we want to see the YouTube video on SanjayaWon.com!

Danette from Oceanside, NY:
If Sanjaya wins, I will know that everyone who voted for him would be a loser on "Are you smarter than a fifth grader?"
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

MaryLauren from Georgia:
If Sanjaya wins, I will personally screw every employee of the record company that is obliged to give him a record deal. Wait. Looks like they will have already been screwed.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A-

Stephanie from Indiana:
If Sanjaya wins, Simon will put on a turban and charm Ryan's snake.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+
Oh so so wrong!

Wanda from Memphis:
If Sanjaya wins, I will publicly announce that my ex-husband is a wonderful man and I was a fool for divorcing him.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-

Kurt from Newfoundland Canada:
If Sanjaya wins, it will conclusively prove that Cell Phone use causes Brain Damage in young girls.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C

Rachelle & Mitchel from Meteghan, Nova Scotia, Canada:
If Sanjaya wins, keep your eyes pealed for "Thriller: The Sequel."
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Alicia from Smyrna, Tennessee:
If Sanjaya wins, I will write a transcript interpreting everything Paula Abdul has ever muttered on the show so the world can finally figure out what the hell it was she just said.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Mary from Denver:
If Sanjaya wins, it will be proof that all the safety warnings on packages, have only served the purpose of allowing morons to live longer and propogate!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Mari from Boston:
If Sanjaya wins... I'll have TWO of whatever Paula has in her Coca-Cola cup every show just to forget about it.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Lorraine:
If Sanjaya wins, I will nominate William Hung for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C

Dez from Detroit:
If Sanjaya wins, he can finally admit that he's... Antonella Barba.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Brian from Fort Walton Beach, Florida:
If Sanjaya wins, I will start a website called "Sanjaya won.com" Then everyone at this website can let us know if they really kept their promises!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A-

Amanda from Hauppauge, New York:
If Sanjaya wins, I hope he falls into a downward spiral of alcohol and drugs, marries then promptly divorces a backup dancer and as a final act of rebellion shave his head for everyone to see.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

M. Buble:
If Sanjaya wins, I will pound the rest of this bottle of Jack Daniels.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A-

Jeff from Hammonton, New Jersey:
If Sanjaya wins, nah, he wont. Then again, I said the same thing back in November, '04.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Julianna from Lexington, Massachusetts:
If Sanjaya wins,I will finally eat the carrot cake that has been sitting in the back of my refrigerator for upwards of 6 months.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-

John from Fishers, Indiana:
If Sanjaya wins, Mexico will have to adopt a new immigration policy to deal with all the damn American illegals that are pouring across the border south to escape the screeching of Sanjaya on their local radio stations in the US.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Borat from Kazakstan:
If Sanjaya wins, we think great success!! In my country, we love Miss Sanjaya... we will praise her beautiful voice and her beautiful hair. VERY NICE!!!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A+

Nick from Anaconda, Montana:
If Sanjaya wins, I will chase sheep with velcro gloves.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Justine from Baltimore, Maryland:
If Sanjaya wins, I'll cry harder than David Hasselhoff did last season.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Brandon from Cincinnati, Ohio:
If Sanjaya wins, Stevie Wonder will wish he was deaf too.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Denise from Brooklyn, New York:
If Sanjaya wins, I will go on a date with Michael Richards to a 50 Cent concert.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A-

Jes from Canada:
If Sanjaya wins, I will tongue wash all the toilets in Grand Central Station.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Geoff from Santa Cruz, California:
If Sanjaya wins, I will smirk endlessly, knowing that the subversives have won a round against the mindless boobs who actually give a flying about this show.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Caroline from Nevada:
If Sanjaya wins, Justin Timberlake and Kevin Federline will admit that Chris Richardson is their love child.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Blake from New York City:
If Sanjaya wins, the seventh season of American Idol will begin with Pam Ewing discovering her presumed-dead husband Bobby, alive and showering! Bobby will emerge from the shower and assure Pam that the sixth season was all a dream.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Jon from Mayfield, Kentucky:
If Sanjaya wins, Howard Stern will make a one-day-only return to terrestrial radio for some major gloating while Eric the Midget finally floats with weather balloons.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Allie from Huntsville, Alabama:
If Sanjaya wins, his hair won't fit on the cover of his album.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-

Reid from California:
If Sanjaya wins, I will shave "I hate the Raiders" in the back of my head and run around downtown Oakland.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C

Michael from Rio De Janeiro, Brazil:
If Sanjaya wins, I will pack up my children's bags and send them to Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch for Blanket's surprise b-day Slumber party.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A-

Jo from South Carolina:
If Sanjaya wins, I will make certain that my tombstone reads "Died Laughing".
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+



Rick from California:
If Sanjaya wins, I will sit and watch "Glitter" everyday for a year.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Kate from Kennedale, Texas:
If Sanjaya wins, I will go to that little blonde girl's house and cry with her.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Drea from North Carolina:
If Sanjaya wins, I will actually kill my television- like those bumper stickers told me too.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Mary from Normal, Illinois:
If Sanjaya wins, I will send an ice pick and some rock salt to Hell!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Lisa from Roslyn, New York:
If Sanjaya wins, I'll call Barry Manilow and personally tell him he can retire. The heir to the throne of cheeseball cabaret singer has been found. He is alive and well and-gasp!-Indian.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Mike from Des Moines, Iowa:
If Sanjaya wins, I will join the sunni's and shiite's in holding hands and singing kumbaya.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Cheri from Oklahoma City:
If Sanjaya wins, we need to put legalizing marijuana on the national ballot because obviously everyone is smoking it!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Ray from Alexandria, Virginia:
If Sanjaya wins, I will start buying Ashlee Simpson CDs and professing my allegiance to her vocal virtuosity, since by comparison, she must truly be the greatest singer that ever lived on this planet or any other.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A-

Diane from Missouri:
If Sanjaya wins, I will take up masturbation .......Don't want to get screwed again.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-

Mike from West Palm Beach, Florida:
If Sanjaya wins, I'll braid my armpit hair and tie it to the ceiling fan blades, turn the speed to high and spin around my room like a giant pinata.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-

Maggie from Baltimore:
If Sanjaya wins, I will have proven my point that this was a terroist attack against America.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C. So wrong! lol

Jim from Florida:
If Sanjaya wins, I will will snort Keith Richards armpit hair.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Anthony from Phoenix:
If Sanjaya wins, I will re-circumcise my penis.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Drea from North Carolina:
If Sanjaya wins, I will actually kill my television- like those bumper stickers told me too.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Nora from Illinois:
If Sanjaya wins, I will personally pay for whatever medical costs Simon Cowell racks up from his mental breakdown. This includes, and is not limited to, hospital stays, medications, overpriced day-spa-slash-rehab-clinics, and hookers needed for sexual healing.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Tonya:
If Sanjaya wins, I will be eagerly awaiting the remake of "From Justin to Kelly" starring Sanjaya and Antonella.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B



Terena from Boston:
If Sanjaya wins, I will finally be convinced the show is not rigged....by the producers.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Flu Ridden Tony Bennett from The Hospital:
If Sanjaya wins, I will never sing in public again... if I ever get out of this hospital.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A-

Mommy from Florida:
If Sanjaya wins, I will pay for VoteForTheWorst's bandwidth bill for one month!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Mike from Denver:
If Sanjaya wins, I'll remind myself that an untalented "idol" is better than a dumbass President.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Mary from Pittsburgh:
If Sanjaya wins, I will become a "Loyal Bushie" for a day of bird hunting with Dick Cheney.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Vesper from Hollywood:
If Sanjaya wins, Nicole Richie will eat 4000 calories every day for the next year.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Heather from Illinois:
If Sanjaya wins, the Cubs win a World Series.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Linda from Los Angeles:
If Sanjaya wins, I will submit a new definition to the folks at Webster's: sing-ing com-pe-ti-tion n. 1. the effort of two or more parties vocally performing, on- or off-key, to secure the most votes from tone-deaf viewers by distracting them with outrageous hair styles.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Ben from Tracy, California:
If Sanjaya wins, Mel Gibson will celebrate Hanukkah with the Jews this year.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Grace:
If Sanjaya wins, I will join scientology, jump up and down on couches, and marry a washed-up teen soap actress.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-

JB from The Cayman Islands:
If Sanjaya wins, I will line up and let everyone in the world kick me in the junk.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Anthony from Chicago:
If Sanjaya wins, I will renounce my homosexuality, vote conservative Republican, listen to Rush Limbaugh every day for the rest of my life, marry a sweet, young southern baptist girl and move to Arkansas to raise our family in a trailer park.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Kevin Covais from Levittown, New York:
If Sanjaya wins, I will know for sure that I was robbed of my well deserved victory.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A-.
He IS alive!

Ronny from West Hollywood:
If Sanjaya wins, I'm gonna need what ever drugs Paula is on!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Jeff from Kansas City, Missouri:
If Sanjaya wins, I will buy his (shudder) album.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B

Arlene from Manteca, California:
If Sanjaya wins, I will write a letter to American Idol telling them to apologize to William Hung for eliminating him so soon.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Sam from New York, NY:
If Sanjaya wins, Hilary Clinton's sex tape with Elizabeth Dole and Dennis Kucinich will be leaked to the Internet, and will make Dustin Diamond's look like Bambi in comparison.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+

Kristin from Pittsburgh PA:
If Sanjaya wins, I will put my hair up in 7 ponytails and do a shot for every off-key note he ever sang during the competition.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C+

Paris Hilton from Hollywood, California:
If Sanjaya wins, I will give up sex... forever.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: F
For Fraudulent.We're not 100% sure we can verify the authenticity of this statement. But we're pretty sure it's Paris Hilton.

Courtney from Bridgton, Maine:
If Sanjaya wins, the Apocalypse will occur immediately after his "victory," God will appear, tell us all we've been punk'd, and all human existence will cease to be. So long humanity...so long.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C

Abby from West Virginia:
If Sanjaya wins, the people in his homeland of India will collectively consume juicy, 100% beef hamburgers.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A+

Robert and Nicole from Marina del Rey, CA:
If Sanjaya wins, our organization will lobby congress for a formal public inquiry under oath regarding the dismissal of the other American Idol finalists. We have e-mails logs from the White House showing that the dismissals were politically motivated.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A+

Lynde from Montana:
If Sanjaya wins, I will legally change my children's names to Sanjaya and Malakar.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B. Calling child protective services.



Jen from Denver, Colorado:
If Sanjaya wins, Jews will form the new and improved Nazi Party.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A+++.
New favorite.

Alex from Buffalo, New York:
If Sanjaya wins, I will tear my ears off and feed them to my cat. When she craps them out, I will burn her poop. I will then piss on the ashes. I will proceed to scoop up the ashes and throw them in my garbage disposal. Only then will I know that I can never hear him singing again. Just to be safe, I'll perform brain surgery on myself to make sure I'm deaf forever.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+.

Simone from ?:
If Sanjaya wins, I will have a memorial feast in memory of J, the hungerstriking myspace retard.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A+.
Is anyone buying this hunger strike? Please. If it is true, are we really going to miss "J"?

Charby from Stockton, CA:
If Sanjaya wins, I�ll buy all his CDs just to break and burn them!!!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C.

Sarah from Kalamazoo, MI:
If Sanjaya wins, I will streak naked around my block with a mohawk.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C.
If you take pictures, C+.

D. Young from ?:
If Sanjaya wins, he�ll be the second most accomplished louse ever (after George W. Bush).
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B+.

Ray from Brooklyn, New York:
If Sanjaya wins, I will party over the graves of the record execs that will kill themselves because they have to give him a record deal and then they will realize that American Idol is not necessary because there is so many talented acts that wished they could have a chance.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-.
The B for a damn good point. The minus for the grammar.

Martin from The Philippines:
If Sanjaya wins, paula will finally sober up.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: F.
For Fat chance.

Beth from ?:
If Sanjaya wins, will send Simon a letter every day asking him when he's going to quit. Because we all know he won't.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B.
Probably true. But Simon is the only reason to watch. Now if only Paula, Randy and Ryan would make that pledge.

Fernanda from Brazil:
If Sanjaya wins, the rest of the world will love american's again for the cool people they can also be! Id like to tell you guys that down here from Brazil we are all rooting for Sanjaya too, he's so horrible!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B.
Wow, if Sanjaya wins, international relations improve!

A.J. from Boston, MA:
If Sanjaya wins, I will go into fenway park with a derek jeter jersey and yell at the top of my lungs redsox suck and thats practically suicide.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B.
Sorry I'm a Red Sox fan. That's gutsy.

Bill from Hartford, CT:
If Sanjaya wins, I will probably have to change my clothes because I will piss my pants from laughing so hard. It will be worth it.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B.

Amy from Cairo, Georgia:
If Sanjaya wins, I will never watch idol again.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A+.
That's the whole reason for the site!

Christina from Visalia, California:
If Sanjaya wins, I will shave my head Britney style!!!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B-

Steve R. from Huntsville, Alabama:
If Sanjaya wins, I will french kiss William Hung.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A+.
Best yet!

Carmella from Orlando, Florida:
If Sanjaya wins, Ryan will start dating women.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: B.
Nice!

Scott from Boston, Massachusetts:
If Sanjaya wins, I'll finally admit that the Yankees are better than the Red Sox. Maybe.
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: C.
Yankees suck!

Riley from Auburn, California:
If Sanjaya wins, I will spray paint my dog with gang colors and send her walking down the streets of compton! You think im joking? Nope, I have a blue and a red rattle can ready. And when my dog gets shot in a drive-by shooting, the blood will be on Sanjayas hands. I hope he knows he will be responsible for the un-necesary death of a cute chuahuah!!
IfSanjayaWins.com Rating: A.
Would've given this an A+, but PETA would've been all over us.